A NEET’s Guide to Employment

“What is a NEET?”

Introduction

There are many folks from the millennial and Generation Z  generations that live in their mom’s basement eating Doritos and playing Skyrim instead of going out and getting a job or doing something productive. If you are one of those lazy fucks that happen to see this post, you should probably read this. You need to stop sucking your mom’s tit because you are a grown ass man. If you don’t think you are that employable or if you have no idea how to get a job, then I’ll show you how to get a job. It won’t be too difficult and it won’t be the greatest thing ever but it will put money in your pocket and you won’t be considered a useless piece of shit anymore. So here’s your easy guide to getting yourself a paying job.

Job Search

The easiest place to find work is McDonald’s. This has to do with the fact that the company hires a lot of people around age 16 (folks that don’t really have much experience working). If you want to get a job at McDonald’s, click on this link to find the nearest McDonald’s location that’s hiring.

Once you find out a location that hires, go to the location and ask for an application. They will either give you a paper application or tell you to fill out an application online.

Application

Whether you’re filling out an application online or on paper, be honest for the most part. Fill out the information asking for your name, e-mail, your address, your phone number, your Social Security number, etc. The only thing that you should really lie about is your work experience. Things you can make up are talking about volunteering at a children’s summer camp or doing some volunteer job or seasonal job that was only around for a short amount of time. If there is a part that asks you why you don’t work there anymore, say that the program ended. If you need a name and number, just make up a name and use either an old number that doesn’t work (highly recommended) or a fake number. For the most part, they might not even bother calling these people but make sure your volunteer/seasonal job sounds legit.

Interview/Orientation

Once you submit your application, they might call you for an interview or they might just have an open interview where you simply walk in for an interview. During the interview, the manager will ask you questions to see if they can employ you. In order to get prepared for the interview, go over these questions and answers. The employers might ask you other questions as well so make sure you can come up with a good response. Say whatever the hell you can to sound like a responsible and good employee. If they ask you what your greatest weakness is, say that you aren’t very good at math or anything that they might not think is a huge issue. That way, you wouldn’t be seen as someone that they cannot hire. Other than that, you should lie whenever you can to make yourself sound more employable. Lying, for the most part, does a good job of hiding the fact that you are an inexperienced NEET with no valuable skills.

If you happen to pass the interview, the manager might send you to an orientation where you fill out tax information (details of that will be explained at the orientation) and you will be filling out a bunch of other things which will also be explained. Make sure to not miss your orientation and to show up on time.

If you don’t happen to pass the interview, try at another location that’s hiring and keep trying until you finally get the job.

After the orientation/Conclusion

Once you are done with the orientation, hand whatever papers they give to you to the store as soon as possible. After that, you might receive a call. If you don’t get a call then go ahead and call the location. If that doesn’t work, go to the location and ask them when you start. After that, you will get a call telling you when you start.

So there you go. This is how you land yourself a job. It’s really easy and now you are finally someone that makes money. If this guide helped you get a job, feel free to send me a donation via Bitcoin or PayPal (unless you are an ungrateful cunt). If you have any questions, please feel free to add a comment below.

 

 

Note: This guide is intended for NEETs looking for a job in the United States and maybe Canada. I have no idea how to find work in any other countries.